Thursday, January 21, 2010

Oh, for an infinite supply of energy!

Oh, for an infinite supply of energy!

I would use it to do stuff, 
Instead of just sitting here, listening
To my audio book and drinking
My wine

Also, I suspect
I would use my vigour for good
Rather than my lethargy for


Which as we all know, 
Is mostly rubbish, such
As this


Friday, January 8, 2010

Choc-top review aka Multiplex me

I have been to the movies twice this week. Twice! High-fives for holidays, people!...and so on. The first time was for cheap at the Nova on Monday to see Fantastic Mister Fox. The second was at Hoyts Victoria Gardens to see the Princess and the Frog.

At both these cinema experiences I have done what any self-respecting movie goer would do, and purchased a chop-top, and now I am doing what behoves any self-regarding blogger to do, and publicly comparing them. 

It's sad news for the Nova and their 'home-made' choc-tops, because their choc-top performed very poorly indeed. Here's everything that was bad about it:

  • The only available flavour was Vanilla. I realise Monday's are busy days at the Nova. Surely their managers realise this too, and would have extra stock available? But no. Vanilla.
  • It was pretty small.
  • The ice-cream had that icy quality of having been thawed and refrozen a few times, and was not very nice.
  • There was a massive air pocket between the chocolate and the ice-cream, ie. not much ice-cream at all.
  • The cone was pretty stale.
  • It was over-priced (in the tradition of all cinema snacks).
Here's what was good about it:
  • It was covered in chocolate.
  • The cone was a waffle cone (but remember, a stale one)
By comparison, the Hoyt's choc-top performed very well. Here's what was good about it:
  • When informing us that not all flavours were available, the staff member apologised politely for the reduced choice. Apologised! Take that, coolsie Nova staff!
  • The reduced choice still left us with three delicious flavours to choose from - chocolate, banana and boysenberry. I had boysenberry. Yummo.
  • It was pretty big.
  • The ice-cream filled the cone and the entire chocolate dome.
  • The ice-cream was really creamy and tasty.
  • The cone was a waffle cone and really fresh, crunchy and sweet.
Here's what was bad about it:
  • It too was over-priced.
Frankly, the exotically flavoured home-made choc-tops were to me the only real perk of the Nova, because the screens are tiny, the seats tiny, the other cinemagoers are too often wankers, and the queues ridiculous. The failure of their choc-tops is a death knell for the Nova in my internal list of preferred Melbourne cinemas. Victoria Gardens on the other hand is large, cool, is conveniently located near Minh Minh for a meal adjacent to the movie, and has boysenberry choc-tops even on a busy day. Decision: made.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

An open letter to the cafes of Melbourne

Dear cafes of Melbourne,

I was hoping to discuss the subject of soy milk. Hasn't the Bonsoy crisis just been terrible? And all you wonderful cafes who purchase Bonsoy despite its extremely high cost, appeasing your bourgie soy-drinking customers, such as myself, are suffering. 

However the crisis shows no sign of ending. In fact,  just 20 minutes ago I enquired at one of you as to whether you knew when Bonsoy would be back, and you said you didn't know!

But here's the thing. I still want to drink nice espresso coffee. And I still don't want to drink it with dairy milk. 

In short, I appeal to you all, lovely cafes with your commitment to first-rate produce and products, to please for the love of God buy some other kind of soy milk. Just in the interim. I know your regular supplier probably doesn't have it. You may even have to send a staff member to the supermarket for it. But surely this is the kind of flexibility and innovation that small businesses thrive upon.  May I also add: For fuck's sake.

Love, Natasha

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

A post about nothing

I'm getting pretty good at doing nothing. I'm particularly good at doing nothing whilst asleep.  At the moment, I'm racking up huge swathes of nothing at a time this way.

I'm doing pretty well at riding my bike around without a particular purpose, my aimless pedalling enhanced by some mild sunshine and a nonchalant breeze.

I'm great at doing nothing in front of a screen - be it at home or in a cinema. I sit, and the entertainment simply filters through to me. 

I'm less good at doing nothing at dinner time. I've been rubbing fish fillets in spices, and slicing a huge range of vegetables, and then eating them slowly with a glass of wine. Eating slowly is the triumph of those with little or nothing to do.

I haven't rushed anywhere in five days. I checked my work email yesterday, but didn't reply to any of them.

Sometimes I just walk along, looking at things.

I think my brain is melting.